Sunday, February 28, 2016

thoughts

The day is drawing near when our fourth will be born. It's not something I can really picture right now. I have my to do list and keep thinking about all that needs to get done before she gets here, but somehow it still feels a long way away. This whole pregnancy has felt different. I think with the others keeping me busy time is passing quickly and I'm content waiting for her to come in her perfect timing. I do catch myself watch each child and wondering what kind of changes this new baby will bring to their life. 

Elijah has struggled with the fact she's not the brother, that he longs for. I understand his disappointment, but I'm thankful for all the ways we've been able to talk about trusting God when we don't understand what he's doing. Elijah is a fantastic brother and I know that even if he says he wishes for a brother, he will love his new sister well. Its been a good lesson for me as I walk him through his disappointment. As I try to teach him about trusting his heavenly Father, I have had a number of things come into life that have stretched me in trusting my Father as well. 

Both girls are ecstatic for her to arrive. They both have little mothering instincts that are coming out and they tell her how much they love her already. I believe Amelia will have a little adjustment now that she won't be the baby anymore, but this too will ultimately be for her good. 

My mom is helping take things off my list and has taken the kids two nights this week. I would like to say I've gotten more done without them here, but really the only thing I've done more of is rest, but it's been so nice. And even though we miss the kids when they're gone, Caleb and I have enjoyed a little alone time. Life is busy and many nights I go to bed and tell Caleb that I've missed him. We're both there, but sometimes with all that's going on it feels like we're ships passing in the night. We both know the reality of a newborn and the extra craziness that is about to take place, so some quiet nights were a true gift. 

Spring is right around the corner and I thought we better get to the snow one more time, before our chance is up. I love love the snow and really miss the huge winter storms I had growing up in Montana. The kids share my excitement and were happy to head to head up the hill to get snow one more time. 

I tried to get some pictures, but Elijah told me that he really was too busy to take any. Caleb and I have noticed a strong desire for independence from him. He wants to grow up and do things on his own. I want to foster that independence in him, but sometimes find outlets for it difficult. I want to be wise and safe, while also allowing him freedom. 

















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