Tuesday, February 25, 2014

grey days

The grey days have kept me searching for color.







My bright spots. 



I love the cold, snow, rain, clouds, but I'm getting a little anxious for Spring.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Healed.



I enjoy the quiet in the afternoon. Amelia is sleeping and Vanessa is curled up in my lap resting. The snow is coming slowly and I'm loving the smell of my new candle. When the house is still for a moment my mind starts to wander. Today it goes straight to my mom. It was her birthday today and it's another reminder that she's not here anymore.

I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of and miss my mom. People say time heals, but I'm not sure I believe that. I think time numbs the pain, but I don't think it heals it. Years went by in my life and the pain of her death hurt just as bad, if not worse. Even today, I could cry and miss her as bad as I did years ago. 

But I am healed. It's not the years that pass, but God who's worked a miracle in my heart. He healed me in a way that nothing else could. The hurt isn't gone, but in the midst of it I see his hands holding me, teaching me, and using the pain to mold me more into His image. I can feel alone missing her. Caleb's never known her, my children don't know her, and none of my friends know her. I can feel so isolated, but then I'm reminded that God knows it all. He knows both of us perfectly. He cares and he hurts with me. It draws me closer to him because he's the one that I turned to with all my hurt. I love that I share this with Him. And I love a day to stop and really think of her, miss her and thank God for the years I had with her.

"God is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), 
but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. 
It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light."
keep a quiet heart.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

our home


"What happened in our house was something far greater than its wall and its furniture and pictures and books. A home was being established. Its foundation was love for God, trust in His providence, and obedience to His Word. God was there-talked about, talked to, present." 
Elisabeth Elliot. 

In June Caleb and I purchased our first home. We bought the home we were renting. Without the process of packing and moving it took a minute for the reality that it was actually ours to sink in. Picking paint colors definitely helped. 

I've thought so much about owning our home, what a privilege it is and that it really isn't ours, but Gods. Caleb and I want to use it for his glory and be ready for however He would want this spaced used. I love this quote and I want it to be true of our home.
Creating a home takes time and energy and money, things I don't have a lot of....but we do the best with what we have. I've told you before that I don't always enjoy the process, but I do love the finished product; a place that I hope is welcoming and comfortable. The process has taught me that more than pretty wall colors and cozy chairs it's my attitude that turns our house into a home.

I thought I'd slowly share some pictures of changes we've made. Usually some before pictures are helpful to see the change, but I only found one before picture of the living room. It's grainy and blurry, but it will have to do.

The walls were the lovely brown... and all the trim was a very yellow oak color...think 1980. 















I married a man that can pretty much do anything...he's seriously so talented. I showed him a picture of the wainscoting I liked and asked if he could do it. He said yes, I went to California with the kids and came back and it was done. I couldn't believe it. It made the room look so much bigger and brighter. It also makes the house feel more like home. Knowing the hours and hard work that went into building it make it more special. I'm so proud of Caleb and love sitting in those beautiful space that his two hands created. 

The wall color is Bedford Grey by Martha Steward and its a nice grey if you're looking for one. I know grey is all the rage right now, but I chose it because I love neutral, light, and classic. I wanted a color I would be happy with forever. I might get in the mood to change it someday, but I doubt it. Once I find something I love I stick with it. For me time and money are precious and change is too hard to do, so finding what I know we'll be happy with for years is important. Although, trendy, it's a classic trendy, that it will work. 

The couch was a garage sale, the chairs were hand me downs, one from a friend and one from my grandma. My grandma rocks the garage sales. She can find beautiful pieces at great prices and I benefit greatly from it. If you're on a budget, take your time, watch craigslist and head out on a Saturday morning and hit up some garage sales. 
The bookcase was also a hand me down from my mom. We painted it white. Actually, almost everything in the room, from the clocks to the frames and old books are all from my mom and grandma. They've been kind enough to pass things on to me and help me create our home. If something wasn't quiet right I paint or stained it to make it work. 

When decorating my philosophy, if I have one, is that it has to make sense to me. Most things need to serve a purpose. It needs to be beautiful, useful, or have meaning to me. I like simplicity. I fill our frames with family. Looking at my grandparents and great grandparents reminds me of where we come from. I want to make them proud and continue the legacy they started. 
I would also, say that although isn't exactly what I would pick out if I could shop anywhere, I wait and pick pieces I like and so no matter where the pieces come from I love them all and so somehow it all goes, even if it's a little eclectic. 

So, there it is, our first room. The kitchen and dinning room are done and we're working on Elijah's room this week. I'll post more soon.

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