Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I want to see God.


My little Nay is scared of the dark. Every night I pray with her and sing to her. Give her a flashlight and turn the nightlight on, but every time I start to leave the room she cries and tells me she's scared. She doesn't want me to leave. I lay down with her and reassure her that everything is going to be fine and that I'm always close by. Then I tell her that God never leaves her. He's right next to her taking better care of her than I can. He never sleeps and He's always watching over her. This seems to bring a little comfort, but she quickly says, I can't see him. I want to see him. 

I know what it's like to want to see him, hear him, feel him. I know he's there, but I want more. So, when she said, I want to see him, for a second my heart hurt for her. How was I going to explain God to my three year old? But my ever faithful God was right there with me and in the exact moment I needed words he gave them to me. I told her that she does see him all the time. She sees him when she's cares for Amelia. She sees him when Elijah shares his toys with her. She sees him when Caleb and I are loving towards one another. God displays himself all the time when we act like Christ. I love how the truths we know come to life as we explain them to our children. God used Vanessa to show himself to me in that moment. I was reminded of the kind of life I need to be living. 

I was humbled as I realized how often I take credit for my 'good deeds' or for the times my children are sweet. It's not my good works, it's Christ working in me. And I was reminded that every time I don't act Christ-like I'm loosing an opportunity to show my children and those around me my Savior. 

5 comments:

Caley M. said...

Jessica, how you parent, how you always point your children to God is so breathtaking. Thank you for being an example of Christ-centered parenting. I pray I to can find the right words to help my children grasp the awesomeness of our God.

Rebekah said...

I have thought of you several times lately and how you all were doing. Such a sweet Gospel moment. Thanks for sharing sweet Sister.

Kirra said...

This may be one of my favorite blog posts ever.

Jess.

Thank you!

Heart n Soul said...

Beautiful truth ... great post :)

christina said...

ohhhhhh! this is soooooo good. my oldest struggles with missing home while at school.so heart breaking.

we put white twinkle lights in my oldest room...she loves them!!

also once she thought there were "monsters" i told her maybe they were fairly and then while see slept sprinkled glitter all around her room...she thought is was pixie dust and has never mentioned monsters again.

sad she gets scared.more sad for mamas sometimes ;)

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