Monday, March 18, 2013

thoughts in the middle of the night.

I can't sleep. All three children are peacefully dreaming in their beds and Caleb is breathing heavily beside me, but I just can't fall asleep. This so rarely happens to me. I'm writing in hopes that soon I'll be seeing cross eyed and have to close the computer down. 

We went away for a long weekend to visit a friend of mine from college. I had high hopes of a wonderful time reconnecting with her and her family and spending time with my own. I packed books that have collected dust and my journal that has far too many empty pages. So, I was very disappointed when our trip was cut short because Vanessa and I got the stomach flu. We spent the day barely able to move. Caleb managed to drive us home that evening and I'm so glad we did cause on Sunday Elijah and Caleb came down with it. 

At first I was pretty upset, cranky and impatient with the children. I felt so sick I just wanted to lie in my bed and be left alone. But mothers don't get the luxury of being sick in peace. I shared my bed with throwing up children and cleaned up their messes while trying to not throw up myself. It was easy for me to feel sorry for myself and feel justified in feeling so. I was sick after all! But God graciously used this stomach flu as a powerful reminder.

As the color drained from Elijah's face and vomit started to come out of his mouth and nose I held his head to keep his face from falling in it. His body was hot and feverish and he was telling me he was cold. My heart hurt for him and the desire to take all his pain away was strong. My mind went to other mama's who are comforting their children through much much worse. The Holy Spirit gently convicted my impatience and self pity and reminded me I have much to be grateful for. I am so thankful for three children to care for even when we're all sick. I'm thankful that it was simply the stomach flu, it could be so much worse. I'm thankful for a husband who works along side me even when he's not feeling well. I'm thankful for the extra hugs and kisses I get when they don't feel well and I'm thankful that I'm the one that brings them comfort.

The stomach flu is just a part of life. We've had it before and we'll probably have it again, but like everything in life, whether little or big, it was an opportunity for me to server with a grateful heart and a time to lean on my Savior for strength. Although, I failed miserably at first, I'm also thankful for His sanctifying work in my life and the renewed ability to serve my family with joy. to start fresh and serve my family with joy.



bandofbrothers said...

great attitude! but so sorry for the pukes! it's brutal!

Marti said...

Great post. Not everyone can see the blessings they have in the midst of the bad times.

Kirra said...

dang girl that is a much better attitude than what i had when we got hit with the flu. you sharpen me so much jess! love you sis. sorry about the trip! :(

Purposely at Home said...

oh no. :'( i hope y'all are well now. :)


christina said...

dang friend! such incite!! and seriously mama don't get sick days do they!?

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