Monday, March 18, 2013

thoughts in the middle of the night.


I can't sleep. All three children are peacefully dreaming in their beds and Caleb is breathing heavily beside me, but I just can't fall asleep. This so rarely happens to me. I'm writing in hopes that soon I'll be seeing cross eyed and have to close the computer down. 

We went away for a long weekend to visit a friend of mine from college. I had high hopes of a wonderful time reconnecting with her and her family and spending time with my own. I packed books that have collected dust and my journal that has far too many empty pages. So, I was very disappointed when our trip was cut short because Vanessa and I got the stomach flu. We spent the day barely able to move. Caleb managed to drive us home that evening and I'm so glad we did cause on Sunday Elijah and Caleb came down with it. 

At first I was pretty upset, cranky and impatient with the children. I felt so sick I just wanted to lie in my bed and be left alone. But mothers don't get the luxury of being sick in peace. I shared my bed with throwing up children and cleaned up their messes while trying to not throw up myself. It was easy for me to feel sorry for myself and feel justified in feeling so. I was sick after all! But God graciously used this stomach flu as a powerful reminder.

As the color drained from Elijah's face and vomit started to come out of his mouth and nose I held his head to keep his face from falling in it. His body was hot and feverish and he was telling me he was cold. My heart hurt for him and the desire to take all his pain away was strong. My mind went to other mama's who are comforting their children through much much worse. The Holy Spirit gently convicted my impatience and self pity and reminded me I have much to be grateful for. I am so thankful for three children to care for even when we're all sick. I'm thankful that it was simply the stomach flu, it could be so much worse. I'm thankful for a husband who works along side me even when he's not feeling well. I'm thankful for the extra hugs and kisses I get when they don't feel well and I'm thankful that I'm the one that brings them comfort.

The stomach flu is just a part of life. We've had it before and we'll probably have it again, but like everything in life, whether little or big, it was an opportunity for me to server with a grateful heart and a time to lean on my Savior for strength. Although, I failed miserably at first, I'm also thankful for His sanctifying work in my life and the renewed ability to serve my family with joy. to start fresh and serve my family with joy.

 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

for the King



My day started late today. It's ten and I've just finished my devotions. Many tasks are waiting for me to tackle them, but I was reminded of something in my reading and I thought I'd share it. My mom recently gave me her book, Keep a Quiet Heart, by Elisabeth Elliot. This morning she wrote about some of the hardships of motherhood.  
It's comforting to read that I'm not alone it my struggles, but she reminded me that my mundane work of dishes, diapers, and disciplining is done for the King. That is where my joy lies. I've found that when the load of mothering feels heavy it doesn't help to think on sleepless nights, or training that doesn't seem to be having any affect. My job is to stay faithful in doing the task God blessed me with. And if I do it while counting my blessings, naming them one by one, I find that as my list gets longer, my load gets lighter. 


I've enjoyed my book so much that I'd love to give one away. If you'd like a copy of Keep a Quiet Heart, leave a comment and I'll pick a winner next week.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

a break in the silence


After over a month of silence I had the desire to come back to my little place on the Internet. I'm not sure if it will last as there was no strong reason for my lack of blogging, except I didn't want to. Blogging is the one thing in my life that I do simply because I enjoy it. There are other things that I enjoy, obviously, but I don't do any of them for that reason alone. So, when blogging was no longer enjoyable I stopped. My mom said to me the other day, 'you're done for good aren't you? I keep checking, but every time I'm greeted by the same picture of you holding Elijah.' I'm not sure that anyone else out there is still faithfully checking to see if I've written anything, but if you are then maybe I'm back.

I'm tempted to say that life has been busy, but I believe words strongly affect how we view things and 'busy' places a picture in my mind of frantic chaos. Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off never able to catch up. It has a negative feeling to me and I prefer the word full. Our life is very full right now and hopefully it always will be. Not too much, not too little. I've worked hard at setting the tone in our home and not allowing my never ending to do list to rob our peace. What doesn't get done patiently waits for me to finish it the next day. I suppose that is another reason for the lack of blogging. Life is kept me occupied and pushed blogging to the back burner. 

A little bit of what's been on our calendar lately,

Lots more undivided attention for the kids, reading, singing, laughing, Lego playing, doll rocking, story telling.

Spring cleaning. I'm about half way there. It's taken awhile and is one of those things that just waits for me to finish it. There's been a lot of stuffing things in closets over the last year and it's time everything found a place. 

Celebrating my sweet Amelia's first birthday. It's unbelievable to me that she's now a one year and one week old. It flew by and she seems to be growing fast than the other two did. 

(and she now likes to climb on top of everything.)

Elijah starting soccer. This is also hard to believe that my baby is now enrolled in a sport. When I rocked him as a newborn in our little apartment in California I daydreamed about him playing sports. It seemed so far off. Now we're here and it felt like it happened in the blink of an eye. 

Vanessa wishes she was playing soccer and doesn't understand why she has to wait until she's four to play. I must agree that four seems like a long time for a girl that is probably as athletic as most of the players out there. But she's tiny and might get trampled on. Her eyes stay glued on the field and she's Elijah's biggest cheerleader. She's also working hard at potty training and is the best big sister.

I started running again. It feels good, well sort of, it hurts like crazy, but the good hurt. 



Spring is coming. We've seen our last snow. Flowers are starting to bloom and we had the best strawberries the other day.



There's been another trip to California for a sister's weekend, all by myself.

And my sister came to visit with her boys. 


So, there is is a little taste of our life, with low quality iPhone pics:) 

Most of these deserve there own post...and they might possibly get it, but no promises. 

(feel free to follow along on Instagram. jnbussell) 



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