Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Harrell's

 We recently meet a family at our church preparing to leave for the mission field in South Africa and they've become fast friends. I told Caleb the other night I can't believe how easy the friendship came about and how sad I am that they have to leave. 

The husband is a pilot and training with MAF (mission aviation fellowship). We were able to go over last week and have a tour and see all the planes. The children loved it and it was incredible to see the work God is doing.  

The remains of Nate Saint's plane.

Elijah held Nay's hand everywhere.

They completely strip the planes and rebuild them and build many of the parts of the plane.

Elijah keeps asking me when we're moving to Africa to be missionaries. Both the children have fallen in love with this family and we will miss them so much.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

on being grateful

I didn't realize how much of myself I would give in becoming a mom. From the moment I saw two lines I started to give. I've given my body, my emotions, my time, my sleep, my identity. I've poured my whole self into being a mama and it's my joy. I believe it's a high and holy calling. It's also a simple calling. A calling to be faithful to what God's entrusted to me. 

It's become second nature and I often do many tasks without even thinking, but lately the joy of being a mom has kind of slipped away. I was thinking about why it's felt like more of a burden lately and I was reminded of this quote.

"Try being a person who sacrificially gives of yourself without the offering being accompanied by gratitude and you'll find every ounce of joy dried up by a martyr complex."
(nancy leigh demoss)

I was serving my children, but not out of a grateful heart. I was missing the privilege of caring for my kids and instead, seeing it as a duty, something I had to do.

Recognizing this and turning from it has given me a renewed love and joy for my precious children.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Went for a walk this afternoon...

sometimes the ordinary days are the best.

Monday, September 17, 2012


"If we are faithless he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny himself"
2 Timothy 2:13

I love the start of a new day. The sun peers through the window in our living room and everything looks golden. I feel anything can happen.  I've needed that fresh start at the beginning of each day. Hope that it will be different than the last.  Recently, we've dealt with some thing with Nay that are stretching my faith.

There are moments when I feel completely lost. There are moments when I feel God walking us through step by step and I hate to say it, but there are moments when I forget to rely on God. I try to plow through and don't think past what's right in front of me. 

I'm comforted by this verse. That God stays faithful no matter what. His kindness is beyond all that I need and He is using these trials to bring me closer to Him. 

There is also a sweetness to this time. Nay has needed me and I am blessed to be able to care for her. I've enjoyed being her mommy and having the privilege to meet her needs. Her hugs and kisses and the feeling of her hand in mine is so precious to me.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

end of summer

A common question Caleb and I ask each other is, what are you thinking about? When I ask Caleb, he answers me with the one thought he's dwelling on. But when he asks me it's harder for me to answer. There is never just ONE thought running through my mind. 
These are a few of the thoughts I had this week.

Usually, I'm ready for the the start of a new season, but this year I'm having a hard time saying good-bye to Summer. There are still a number of things on our Summer bucket list not checked off. I guess they'll wait till next year. School has started, the mornings are crisp and the leaves are changing colors. Fall is here.

 It's been a whole year since we moved. I can't wrap my mind around it. There's an aching for California that never leaves me, but I never question our move. I know this is where God wants us. 

 I watch my children and I'm amazed how they've changed since we've been here. It happened so gradually that in the day to day I didn't see the difference, but I look back at pictures and videos and they've grown so much.
 I miss them a little. 

I never tire of watching God's creation. I'm in awe constantly and never know how to completely soak up it's beauty. 

I'm being stretched right now. God who is ever faithful is calling me to trust him in an area that is very difficult. He's never failed me, so why do I have a hard time resting in his sovereignty? My dad said, we say we believe in a Sovereign God, now we need to live it out. It's so true. Now is the time to live what I say I believe. 

My affection for my children has grown. I'm not sure how. I didn't think it could, but it continually does. I LOVE my children.

I'm so glad it's Friday cause that means only one day left before I get two whole days with Caleb. 

the end.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

6 Months

You're already half a year old. Every moment with you is precious...even if you're not sleeping:) Even though you're my third, I never could have anticipated how much joy you would bring to our family. We all love you so much.

I feel privileged to be able to stay home and care for you. I know exactly how it feels to have your little hand wrap around my finger and hold me while you eat. I know that your smile starts in your eyes and then moves to your little lips. It starts out small and then your whole face lights up. Your skin is soft and you like to nuzzle into the small of my neck. I kiss you a thousand times a day and it's still not enough. 
You are my little baby and I love you forever.

Monday, September 3, 2012


Sleep seems to be a thing of the past in our home. Vanessa, my best little sleeper has given up her ways and decided she no longer needs sleep. 
Unfortunately, this mama still does. 

 Amelia who spoiled me for the first couple months and slept incredibly well, recently decided that nursing through the night is a much better plan than sleeping. 
Seriously. Dying

Elijah, was in a good little routine with sleeping, but it's kind of hard to sleep through both your sisters crying. So, he's joined the non sleepers as well.

During one of our worst nights we literally got one to sleep and the next would wake, then we'd get that one to bed, and the next would get up. This lasted all.night.long. 
Finally, at 4:00 Caleb looked at me completely hopeless and asked, what are we going to do? I stumbled to the bathroom and grabbed the melatonin. Don't judge. I needed something. And If I had something stronger I would have used it. It gave us a glorious three hour stretch of all three sleeping. (don't worry, i didn't give any to amelia)

Needless to say, I'm walking around in a fog. My memory seems to have failed me and I'm moving pretty slow getting anything accomplished.
 But it's reminded me again of my need to rely on the Lord for my strength; even in the seemingly small things of life. I'm continually humbled to see him carry me through when I think I've hit my limit. 
  This lack of sleep seems to have little effect on the kids. They just go and go. If you have any suggestions besides drugging your kids, do share.
 Praying tonight I don't see any of my kids precious faces:)
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