It's these rare quiet moments in the house I stop and reflect on the happenings around me. Many thoughts go quickly to mothering. It's what occupies much of me.
I believe God uses being a mama to my three as one of the strongest sanctifying tools in my life. I can barely speak to them without my thoughts going to God is some way.
I see his love for me in them.
I see the importance of following his word and hiding it in my heart.
I see his righteous anger against sin and have a clearer understanding of how much better life would be if I always obeyed.
I see his goodness. His joy. His pleasure.
Being a mama is my favorite. It brings me incredible amounts of joy to care for my children. I seldom look at them without smiling.
It's the little things.
Nay's little fingers and the way she moves them.
All her expressions when she talks.
Their voices and the precious way they say certain words.
Elijah's spontaneous hugs and kisses.
It's when they want to dance with me in the kitchen.
Or when they tell me their thoughts.
I often feel privileged looking inside their world throughout my day; listening to them play and seeing their imaginations at work.
I love that their mine.
I love that I know them better than anyone else.
My emotions have heightened since children. I used to rarely cry. Now, it seems, I cry at everything. I feel a constant pull in all directions. I'm a sad knowing everyday their just a little bit older. I miss them while they sleep. I am overwhelmed with the strongest love and passion for them, while at the same time feeling worn and exhausted.
It seems to go hand in hand with being a mom.
It's even expected.
Yet, God commands me not to fear. He says be anxious for nothing. The Proverbs 31 woman is praised for not fearing the future. God says, perfect love casts out fear. Continually, I see that even though, culturally it's acceptable to be fearful we're called to something else. A complete trust in God.
"if any thought robs you of peace, it is an enemy to your soul; give it no recognition." (unknown)
Being a mom has brought out many fears and I've never had to fight fear this much in my life.
Being a mom is an incredible responsibility. It's easy to be overwhelmed by it. But God's grace is greater. He gives me no task that is he will not carry me through.
And those are the thoughts swirling around my head on mothering.