Monday, May 7, 2012

my strength.

Elijah came bursting into my room this morning asking for some milk. I jumped up as fast as I could and carried him out. I was not going to let him wake Amelia. I had no idea what time it was. I could tell it was late cause the sun was up. Caleb must have already gotten up with Vanessa and let me sleep a little. I was grateful. I poured some milk and crawled back in bed hoping for just a couple more minutes of sleep.

For some unknown reason Amelia was up almost EVERY.SINGLE.HOUR. last night. She really hasn't slept well for the last couple days leaving me exhausted. 
Life with a newborn. 
I've actually done okay with little sleep this time around. I guess it's all the practice of no sleep with the other two, but this morning was different. I felt like I reached my limit. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the day. 

Elijah came running into my room again. My patience was gone and the day hadn't even started yet. I took care of whatever the need was and went back to my room. This time I knelt by the side of bed. I knew I had no strength to take care of the children by myself. I prayed. I begged the Lord to give me the endurance, love, and patience to care for the kids. As I stood up I felt so much better. I was calm and had the energy to pick Amelia up and nurse her for the hundredth time. 

As the day went on there were multiple times I had to stop and pray for patience and endurance. Each time God faithfully granted me all I needed. It was incredible to see God's promises being fulfilled in my day, to know he was beside me carrying me through.

Then it struck me. This is where I need to be EVERYDAY. It's easy for me after a good nights rest or when the children obey the first time to continue on not recognizing God in my day. There are also the difficult days I don't call on the Lord and try to muscle through on my own. I ALWAYS end up flat on my face. I fail the kids and Caleb.  

I'm thankful for days like today to remind me where my strength comes from and to me keep my eyes focused on Christ. 

"my heart and my flesh fail me, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalms 73:26 


bandofbrothers said...

such great wisdom jess. thanks for the reminder.

Jess said...

I needed that reminder. Today was a low-patience day for me as well.
Although, I didn't do any praying.
I suppose I get caught up in the day to day and don't think about it being exactly what I need.
And yet, it's EXACTLY what I need, what I should be doing, what God is there for.

Thanks for the reminder. Hopefully tomorrow will find me on my face.

Susanne said...

stay strong, Jess!

Emily Anderson said...

This is exactly where I've been the past couple of weeks, just at my limit. Thanks for the reminder to be clinging to the Lord and His strength instead of my own independence. I'll be praying for you and me today as we care for our littles! :-)

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