Wednesday, May 16, 2012

leftovers



The house is quiet which is pretty much a miracle. All three kids resting at the same time. I literally didn't know what to do with myself for a minute or two. I have SO many things I should be doing, but I decided just for a moment I'd sit down and write.


I have this dream of Caleb and I going away. Just us. I've been missing him lately and it would be wonderful to be just the two of us. Isn't it funny how you can miss someone you see everyday? We do see each other, but we don't really get time together. It's the season we're in right now and I know it's a short one, but a little alone time would be nice. 


It's made me think a lot about the time we do have together. I hate to admit it, but I think I've been giving Caleb my leftovers. When he walks in the door I usually greet him while, nursing, trying to get dinner on the table, or playing referee. Many times, well all the time, my hair is pulled into a messy ponytail, I'm in my comfy clothes, and no makeup. After we've kissed the kids good night and we finally make it to our room I either take care of Amelia or if she's asleep I go straight to bed myself. I usually don't have the energy to carry on a conversation and I know I'll be up before long to do another feeding.  

Caleb is incredible kind and gracious. He doesn't care what I look like when he comes home and never complains that I go to bed without spending much time together. He wants me to get my rest and will many times rub my back or run his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep. 


Not a lot is going to change over the next couple months. My days will be filled with caring for little ones and my nights will be interrupted with feedings, but I need to find ways of making Caleb feel special. I believe our relatioship is the most important relationship God's given me and I want him to feel that. I want my children to see the love I have for him and feel the security that comes from making our relationship a prioriety. I know I need to make even the few minutes we have to ourselves count. 


Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
Anais Nin

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Amy Bloom

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:34-35

9 comments:

Kelly said...

oh my gosh. i totally get it. i made my husband take me to lunch today because i missed him. it was nice.

kaylee@life chasers said...

I'm in the exact same boat, friend. I am craving time with my husband! I really struggle with not giving him my leftovers. It's a constant battle. Good thing they keep sticking around :)

Rebekah said...

Bookmarking this as reminder for later.

Summer said...

I'm a new follower of yours and I just love these pictures of you and your hubby :) So sweet!

xo
summer

www.summerdays96.blogspot.com

katygirl said...

I feel the same way. And you're right, not much will change the next few months. I feel like a spaz most days!! Thank you for the encouragement.

I'm pretty sure I forgot to text you back. Don't take it personally. Like I said, I am a spaz most days!!

Phil and Bri said...

I hear ya. The 'missing' can turn selfish real quick for me! Great reminder for me today to go above and beyond with my hubby.

theolivetree said...

Sound to me like you are making more of an effort than you realize :)

Ps I have three kids too - one of them a newborn. Sometimes I like to feed the two oldest dinner early and send them downstairs to watch a movie and then eat a later dinner with my husband - it is like mini date and we can actually talk ;)

Kirra Sue said...

Such a great reminder Jess....my baby isn't even here yet & I feel like I've been a hot mess during pregnancy...and T is so gracious. Thanks for encouraging me to put his first, even in less than ideal circumstances. Think I'll go try to curl my hair or something. ;) Annnnnd I'm obsessed with that Amy Bloom quote. Wow. So beautiful. Love you.

Denise said...

i so remember feeling this way. still do from time to time. but hindsight is 20/20 and i look back at those times when i felt i was missing my husband and see that those times (exhausting 3 little people times) were the times i grew to love him the most. watching him love me in spite of my being showered, watching him care for and nurture the kids, his partnering with me, giving himself up for me and the kids, and much more...i missed him. i waned him all to myself. oh, but i was gaining so much more of him!

i rejoice with you for all God is growing in your life in this season.

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