Thursday, February 16, 2012

conversations...

I haven't felt much like blogging lately (you probably noticed since I haven't posted in awhile) and when I don't feel like doing it I don't. I feel no pressure to blog. I do it because I enjoy it and don't worry about how many posts a week happen. But as time for baby girl to come draws near (surely it will be any day, I've been contracting for four days now. ) I thought I better write down somethings before I forget. 


It's amazing to me the things I hear and see with my kids each day that are so precious. I swear I'll never forget the tones they use or the way their little fingers move while their talking, yet somehow I do.  I'm thankful for places like their baby books and this blog that jog my memory of special times I've already forgotten.


Elijah is at such a fun age of communicating while V is still not putting many words together. (but don't worry she somehow lets us know exactly what she wants.) They are both so expressive. His hands move as fast as his mouth when he talks and when she looks at us out of the corner of her eyes we melt.  


He'll start asking for something and forget what he's saying mid-sentence. He looks at me, shrugs his shoulders, tilts his head and says, "mom what was it that I wanted?"


His love for playing with Vanessa has grown so much over these last couple weeks. He's always telling me that he's taking care of her cause he's the big brother and she's the little baby. He holds her hand and they walk through the house together and recently he's started asking her to marry him. He takes one of my rings puts it on her finger and says, "I'm the Mr. and your the Mrs." 


One night V was crying in her crib and Caleb and I were debating what to do. She stopped crying right away though so we didn't think much about it. Then we heard something and knew Elijah was up. Caleb went to investigate and found Elijah in V's room with the light on and door open. Elijah told us that Nay was upset and he was taking care of her. He said he went in the room and asked her "what's the problem Nay?" 
Then the other night I laid in bed and over heard this conversation.
Caleb..."don't worry about it. Pajama's don't have to match."
Elijah..."yes they do. I NEED my other pajama's. The bear one with the red sleeves."
Caleb..."mom is washing those. You'll have to wait till tomorrow to wear them."
Elijah..."I can't. I NEED to sleep in them tonight."
Caleb..."why? It really doesn't matter what you sleep in." 
Elijah..."dad I very much NEED my matching bear pajama's."


This continues on for about ten minutes. Finally, Caleb comes and asks me what to do. All I can do is smile and say I don't know. I deal with these issues all day, everyday, but I don't have the answer. I take them one at a time. 


Sometimes it's surreal. Conversations and issues Caleb and I have are nothing like what I pictured. I'm not sure what I thought my life was going to look like with small children, but conversations about what pajama's to wear never crossed my mind. 


Way too early one morning...like 5:00 a.m. Elijah crawls in bed with us. After holding him for about an hour my preggo body couldn't handle anymore. I whispered gently, Elijah, could you give Daddy some cuddle time? Hoping he would slid to the other side of the bed and my neck and back could get a break. He grabbed my cheeks and put his forehead to mine and said, sometimes boys just need to be with their mommy's, okay. You can imagine I just kept holding him. 



These are irreplaceable moments. I love each interaction I have with my babies and am amazed watching their personalities come to life. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

all ready.


Whenever I'm feeling really uncomfortable or the heartburn is more than I can take there's one thing that makes me feel better.

Looking at our sweet baby girls things. I've packed our bag and I'm so ready to meet her. Caleb and I have bets going on what she'll look like.

I hold her coming home outfit and picture her tiny body filling it up...


or I imagine wrapping her in her blanket.

(i love these swaddle blankets. a must have)

I'll use any opportunity to add to our library. I can't wait to read to her.

And I write to her in her baby book, one of my favorite things  to do.

You can come anytime now sweet girl. We're as ready as we'll ever be!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Selfless love.


My love for Caleb grows and grows. I've been in awe these last months to see him care for me and the children. He comes home many nights to me scrambling to get something on the table (or with no plan at all) hair in a ponytail and still in my pajama's. It seems that being pregnant and taking care of two little ones is all I can handle. I feel rather guilty about the fact and it could put me in tears throughout the day, but Caleb doesn't even seem to notice. 


He walks in, greets me with a kiss and chases the kids around the house. He spends the rest of the evening helping in anyway he can never complaining that he's been up since 5:30 and worked all day. His love is so selfless. 


(he even brings me flowers)


 The other night it hit me again how much he sacrifices. Probably around two in the morning V woke up and I jumped up to help her. When I got back in bed Caleb started rubbing my sholders and apologized for not getting her. I was at a loss. He was the one needing to get up early for work, but he was still sorry that he hadn't let me sleep. 


In that moment I got a clear picture of Christ's love for me. He loves me apart from anything I can do. His love is completely sacrificial and never-ending.
I love Caleb for so many reasons, but seeing Christ's love for me displayed through Caleb has to be one of my favorites. 

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Last Week....

Last week...
I did more baking then I did the last four weeks combined.

We pretty much accomplished potty training!

 I still love ice more than anything.

I started reading Winnie the Pooh to the kids.

Caleb was able to come to my doctors appointment with me. (the first one he's made) and we got to see our little girl.

My quiet mornings have been the biggest blessing.

 We had a Valentine's Day party.





We had a date night.

They kept us smiling.
 It was a good week.



Wednesday, February 1, 2012

a little giddy....

We had our 36 week appointment today. It was a big one. It was the appointment where we would see if our little girl had stopped growing or if we were in the clear for a healthy delivery. 


Praise the Lord....we got the all clear! She is looking good. Her growth hasn't slowed at all and we're expecting a normal delivery.  I can't tell you how excited I am. I've felt a little black cloud has followed me around since we found out there were complications with the pregnancy. It was a constant state of waiting and praying. Praying for mercy over our little girl. Waiting to see how the Lord was going to work. 


I didn't want to get too excited. I kept myself guarded with such an uncertain future. I didn't take for granted a day that I wasn't on bedrest or a moment with Elijah and Vanessa knowing that we could be facing tough months ahead. I planned for the hardest, but hoped for the best. It was a hard hard balance to keep. 


I'm amazed at God's graciousness to bring us this far. The cloud is gone and I'm feeling a little giddy at the thought of meeting our little girl. I have her clothes washed and put away. I've bought her coming home outfit and I'm writing in her baby book. I can't wait to feel her in my arms for the first time and I'm excited that (it seems) it will be without any wires or monitors. I'm seriously happy.


But, I have to say, that if things had turned out differently (and I know they still can) God would have been just as kind and faithful. He drew me to himself these last months. Many times He was the only one I could talk to about my fears and He was the one to carry me. I read many verses about waiting on the Lord and staying steadfast. He's taught me to quietly waiting on him and he will hold me. My quiet times with the Lord have been so precious to me. I'm thankful that he took us through this unknown so that I could draw close to him and know his character more.


I know many of you have prayed for us and I'm so grateful. Please continue to pray and hopefully we'll be meeting our little girl in just a few short weeks.

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