Monday, July 18, 2011

being stretched.

Summer is in full swing...and probably like most of you it feels like it's going way too fast. The kids have splashed in the pool, Caleb and I have snuck out on more dates than usual, schedules are more flexible, blog posts fewer and farther between, the oven never gets turned on and lots of bbq's with friends. 
It's great. 
But, if I were to be completely honest, it's not what I expected, when is it ever though? 
I've spent more time than I'd like to admit in the doctor's office, drawing blood, or laying in bed cause I don't feel good enough to get up. Every time, I think I'm getting better I take two steps backward. 

Health has been a struggle for me for years now, but it's harder now that it affects more than just me. It affects Caleb and the children. I hate facing all the ways I've failed in being a wife and mom at the end of the day. 

As I've wrestled through not feeling well and what my response should be, many times I've given up. I'm not long suffering and I'm not choosing to be grateful for all the incredible blessings God's given me. I choose instead to focus on the things I'm not able to do instead of the ways I can serve. I've lay my burdens before the Lord, but then an hour later I go back and pick them up and try to carry them on my own. 

Caleb is a rock though. He's gracious with my failures and constantly brings me back to truth. He's been praying for me and with me and holds me when I cry. I love him. And I love how trials bring us closer.

While reading my devotions this morning I was reminded again to replace my complaining heart with a grateful one.

I'm grateful that I have a Savior who died for my sins.
I'm grateful that my health issues aren't life threatening.
I'm grateful I have two beautiful children that bring us so much joy.
I'm grateful for a husband who walks this road with me.
I'm grateful for God's word that guides my soul.
I'm grateful that if I confess my sins God is faithful and just to forgive them.
I love that everyday is new and today I'm choosing to be grateful.


katygirl said...

being stretched is always so hard but so worth it. i'll be praying for you.

Carly Jean Brannon said...

Wonderful perspective :) So much to be grateful for. Praying for you friend.

Carly Jean Brannon said...

Wonderful perspective :) So much to be grateful for. Praying for you friend.

Purposely at Home said...

What an inspiring post!

hannah singer said...

amen. praying for you-and joining you in replacing the complaining heart with a grateful one!

carissa said...

girl, you're not alone. i have to constantly renew my mind!

The Soul Anchor said...

Sometimes it's the trials the reveal our blessings. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, and it is beautiful to see you trying to be positive and appreciate what you've been given. <3

Sara Harmon said...

FIRST, I want to remind you that you haven't failed Caleb or you 2 beautiful babes. You are an amazing Momma and wife. Your husband and kids would vouch for this, I AM SURE! I am praying for you. Please, we are too close for you not to call on me for help!! Let me know when I can bring a meal or watch the kids so you can rest!!

life chasers said...

your strength always astounds and inspires me.
i've been in bed with an kidney infection the last two days is all and have struggled with being grateful. praying for you!!!!

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