Sunday, May 15, 2011

aww life...

So many thoughts are swirling around my head as I sit here this evening.  Caleb and Elijah ran to Target for me and I've just finished rocking Vanessa and putting her to bed. The house is quite and I can only hear the clocks ticking and my fingers on the keyboard. I love these rare moments to soak up the silence and reflect on things I've learned over the last week and prepare for the craziness that lies ahead. 


We're in full blown wedding mode here as my little sister's big day is two weeks away and my family comes into town in just a week. I had big plans of cleaning the house, meal planning, grocery shopping, getting last minute wedding details done...and keeping up with my two babies. 


But things are being rearranged a little. I've been feeling pretty bad lately, exhausted, headaches, ear aches, overly emotional, can't think clearly and the list goes on. I finally went to the doctor and got some blood work done and found out I have a hypothyroid, double ear infection, sinus infection, and mono. 


As I was talking to my mom tonight and she asked me how I was doing I told her I was doing okay, but the timing of this is horrible. I don't have time to be sick. Which she replied, when do you ever have the time? 


I'm the kind of person who likes to do it all and not ask for help. And yet, as I look over the last year and half the Lord has put me in mulitple situations where I can't. I am forced to rely on his strength and the help of friends and family. It's in these moments that I see that he is always my strength and I do nothing without him, but so often I try and take the credit for doing it on my own. 


It's humbling to ask for help. It's humbling being unable to do the daily tasks of a stay at home mom. It's humbling to have Caleb work so hard all day and then come home and complete all the things I couldn't do. But it also makes me so grateful. Grateful that I serve a God who cares about my health and holds me in his hands. Grateful that I married Caleb. He is such a servant and gladly takes care of the kids and me without complaining. Grateful that God promises never to give me more than I can handle. 


Caleb and I spent the weekend on the coast just the two of us. It was mostly spent in bed watching movies because of how I was feeling, but we did venture out a little. We took a walk to the beach and sat on a bench watching the ocean. I looked over and on the bench next to us my favorite verse...



This is exactly where I need to be...still and trusting in God. 

20 comments:

katygirl said...

I am praying for you right now!!! And yes, you can be number one next weekend, k?!

Jenny Plumb said...

Aw, that's rough. I was 38 weeks pregnant when my sister had her wedding...in my backyard...which I hosted, organized and planned. Let's just say, I feel your pain. Praying you get through the next couple of weeks!

Nancy said...

Being a mom and being sick is never a good equation. Love that verse. It speaks to me on so many occasions. Praying for recovery for you.

Jami said...

oh friend! I am so sorry you are sick! Us mommies don't get sick days. I am praying for quick healing for you and praise and protection for Caleb. I love how you can always see God working, even in the tough stuff. You are an inspiration!

katie said...

Oh my heart goes out to you. Feeling rotten while caring for little ones is so tough. I'm glad you got to get away for some rest. I love that verse. It has sustained me many times. I hope you are feeling better so you can enjoy your time with your family and wedding prep for your sis.

kenzie said...

sorry your feeling so crummy! But Im glad you figured out whats going on! Praying for you!

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

such a beautiful post :) thanks for the great reminder!

the fox family channel said...

i love this post. your strength and hope in the Lord is inspiring. i'll be praying for you :)

Amanda* said...

This post is so inspiring! Thank you! I am sorry you're not feeling well, I have been there--you only come out stronger!

Kelly said...

jess, i am glad that you got some answers as to why you were feeling bad. i'm prayin' that you feel better quickly! Be still, and know that I am God is my go to verse for the last 6 months. I love it! Sarah helped me with some moving today, i love her she's so great! thanks for stoping by my blog, this bloggy world is crazy fun! oh, give those precious kids of yours a squeeze for me... it's always so fun to see them when sarah babysits. their smiles melt my heart.
xo

bandofbrothers said...

Jessica! You poor thing, doll! Stinky timing indeed! I will be praying that you get the rest you need and will have a speedy recovery.

i can understand on a tiny scale how you feel. in the last few days, i had pink eye, a horrid cough, sinus infection, sick kids to take care of that don't sleep at night. and my mom's big b-day was yesterday. i went and it was outside and windy and i got a raging sore throat:( the kids kept us up all night and john had to stay home from work today to take care of us.

he went out of town tonight(and will be gone tomorrow night too). But you are right. God is our strength!

arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

"I'm the kind of person who likes to do it all and not ask for help. And yet, as I look over the last year and half the Lord has put me in mulitple situations where I can't."

....i feel like i am the same way. the last few months i've had to rely on my family's help a lot and it definitely is humbling. loved this post, i can totally relate :)

i hope you get well soon & rested!

Laura@Faith Hope Love said...

beautifully said. I think God is always reminding us that we CAN'T do it on our own, and He WANTS us to depend on Him....allow Him to be our strength and source for all things. This is the second time today I've been reminded of this verse to "Be Still"...maybe God is giving ME a reminder? ;) Great post, thanks for sharing!!

danielle @ take heart said...

i have been praying over be still and know that I am God the past few weeks. and have so much fun at your sister's wedding! how exciting!

danielle @ take heart said...

and feel better sweet friend, praying that you will back to normal in no time.

Sharstin said...

Oh girly, I know how that is, and I am the same way! Hope you get some much needed r&r

life chasers said...

praying for you my friend, supernatural healing! wish i lived closer because i would be over in a second to help you!

Jessica said...

thank you all for your encouragment and prayers! They are greatly appreciated.

meme-and-he said...

such a beautiful post...I totally know what you mean by anything coming up being an inconvenience. Congrats to your sister and her upcoming wedding! may you find peace somewhere in the craziness!

Danielle said...

oh wow...i have had all of those ~ at different times though. feel better. :)

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