Monday, March 28, 2011

Worn out

lately, i've felt worn out and exhausted. 

exhausted and overly emotional, not a good combination.

life has had a little extra crazy thrown in lately. i knew it would be with caleb working out of town, but 3 1/2 months is a long time.

at first i found myself ready to take it all on. caleb being gone was going to be hard, but i was going to be super wife, mom, you name it i was going to do it. it didn't take long for it to wear on me though. (maybe by day one i had retired my cape.) but i keep trudging through. i was going to do this. i pulled myself up by my boot straps and kept going. but it didn't get easier and before long i was loosing it.

i thought about the promise that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but this was starting to feel like more than i could handle. i remember telling caleb that i was hanging on, but one more thing cannot go wrong or i'd fall. well, about twenty minutes later i got a phone call that was definitely one more thing going seriously wrong. but, somehow i didn't lose it and i realized why. i turned to God. i had no other choice. i couldn't take this on myself. i had to lay my burdens down and let him carry them.

 that's what was missing the whole time. i was trying to do it all in my own strength. i mean i still did my daily devotions and prayed with the kids, but i hadn't really come to God moment by moment allowing him to carry me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9  
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

i experienced God's grace. he revealed to me that he is enough and that i have the power of Christ resting on me. what a beautiful thing. i am nothing without Christ and it is in him that i am renewed and strengthened to carry on. he is faithful and his promises are true. 

it's still tough and i still pridefully, try to do it on my own sometimes. but God "being rich in mercy," reminds me to come back to him and he holds me close. 

is it an incredible thing how weak we are. we need Christ to show us our weakness, make us turn to him, forgive us of our sin, then carry us through whatever we're going through and he does it all out of an amazing love for us. we're nothing without him.


life chasers said...

I left this verse on another blog this morning but it so fits for you too,
"Though my heart and my flesh may fail, the Lord is my strength and my portion forever."-Ps 73:26
So praying for you today, it takes quite a woman to hold it all together but let the Lord take control. I so respect you!

rachel porter said...

i have a similar post on my blog this morning, but you bring it full circle talking about how God is sufficient and we can't can't go at it on our own. here's to trusting!! and failing and then needing to trust again :)

arielle @ a beautiful journey. said...

oh wow, 3 1/2 months is a while...praying that the Lord would give you renewed strength! i love that verse in 2 corinthians, should a good reminder for me this morning. thank you so much for sharing :) blessings!

katygirl said...

ahhhh jess. so good for me to hear. love you.

Jami said...

i think we all forget to go to Him moment by moment sometimes. i love knowing that He even cares about the little everyday things in my life. great post

bandofbrothers said...

thanks for the beautiful reminder you and am praying for you!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...