exhausted and overly emotional, not a good combination.
life has had a little extra crazy thrown in lately. i knew it would be with caleb working out of town, but 3 1/2 months is a long time.
at first i found myself ready to take it all on. caleb being gone was going to be hard, but i was going to be super wife, mom, you name it i was going to do it. it didn't take long for it to wear on me though. (maybe by day one i had retired my cape.) but i keep trudging through. i was going to do this. i pulled myself up by my boot straps and kept going. but it didn't get easier and before long i was loosing it.
i thought about the promise that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but this was starting to feel like more than i could handle. i remember telling caleb that i was hanging on, but one more thing cannot go wrong or i'd fall. well, about twenty minutes later i got a phone call that was definitely one more thing going seriously wrong. but, somehow i didn't lose it and i realized why. i turned to God. i had no other choice. i couldn't take this on myself. i had to lay my burdens down and let him carry them.
that's what was missing the whole time. i was trying to do it all in my own strength. i mean i still did my daily devotions and prayed with the kids, but i hadn't really come to God moment by moment allowing him to carry me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
i experienced God's grace. he revealed to me that he is enough and that i have the power of Christ resting on me. what a beautiful thing. i am nothing without Christ and it is in him that i am renewed and strengthened to carry on. he is faithful and his promises are true.
it's still tough and i still pridefully, try to do it on my own sometimes. but God "being rich in mercy," reminds me to come back to him and he holds me close.
is it an incredible thing how weak we are. we need Christ to show us our weakness, make us turn to him, forgive us of our sin, then carry us through whatever we're going through and he does it all out of an amazing love for us. we're nothing without him.