Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Not taking anything for granted...

{warning...long, pictureless post, that might bore you to death, sorry, but at least I warned you.}

God reminded me of something the other day. Something I should have never forgotten and praying I don't again.  

God healed me of a number of major heal issues three years ago.

I suffered from migraines since I was nine. They were bad, like real bad. At first I only had about three a year and they lasted about three days. I always knew when one was going to come cause I would start seeing black dots and lose vision in one eye. The pain was so bad it would make me throw up...I know gross, but just keeping it real. They would also make me delusional, (yes, i really did see things floating out of my stomach and I did squirt enormous amounts of water up my nose because I believed a spider was up there causing the pain.) And then parts of my body would go numb and of course I couldn't handle any light or noise. As I got older they progressively got worse until I was getting one or two a month. 

It was debilitating and I absolutely hated them. When I knew one was coming I would just cry, which, incidentally, made them come on faster. 

After seeing two neurologists and mulitple MRI's I was put on a strong daily medication (with side affects including, but not limited to..loss of memory, loss of vision, weight loss, nausea, oh and a startling number of deaths. starting to wonder which is worse:) and then there was another medication for when I got a migraine.

During this time I also started having heart problems. The first doctor I saw about it told  "You're was going to die no matter what I do so there is no point in doing anything, but if you want me to run more tests I can." Okay, not the most encouraging. My dad thought it'd be a good idea if we found a new doctor. Three doctors later I was diagnosed with two different heart condition and was told I would eventually have surgery.

But wait, I'm not done. While running the tests to diagnose my heart they found a tumor on one of my ovaries. (I know you're wondering "how the heck did they find a tumor on her ovaries when they were trying to diagnose her heart?"this post is already too long to try and answer that! another time, maybe?) It had to be operated on. I had to have two surgeries. The first one was to remove the tumor and the second was done by another doctor cleaning up mistakes the first one made.

Those were some HARD times. I watched everyone around me living "normal" lives and I was jealous of them. I didn't want to be missing class to go to another doctors appointment. I wanted to read a book without it giving me a headache or go on a run and not pass out cause my heart couldn't handle it. I was tired of not know what was wrong with me. I was tired of feeling so limited and I was tired of the way people treated me.

 But, God was teaching me invaluable lessons. I learned to depend on him every second of everyday. I learn tons about prayer and praying with faith. He comforted me and held me when no one else did. I experienced his faithfulness. He held me when I didn't think I could handle anymore. He taught me to depend every second on him. For every person that didn't understand what I was dealing with and said something hurtful he gave me someone to encourage me. He taught me that I need to glorify him with my life no matter how I feel. 

His plan is much bigger than my health.

I begged God to heal me. 

 But, He told me to wait.

After a couple months of being married. We heard about a great homeopathic doctor and thought we'd give it a try. It can't get worse, right? 

I know this is getting long, but I have to pause and and tell you about Caleb. At first he didn't know how to help me and it scared him. He obviously knew about my health while we were dating, but I could hide it from him a lot better than when we were actually living together. It was a touch adjustment, but it quickly became our normal. He learned how to become my biggest help. He held me tight when I hurt, pulled back my hair when I threw up. He was my protector. He watched over me so close and made sure I didn't push myself too hard. He did ANYTHING to make me feel better. He also challenged me spiritually. He continually reminded me to "do all things without grumbling or complaining" and was my prayer warrior. It grew the depth of our marriage and I'm incredibly thankful. Just a couple more reasons why I love Caleb so much!

Okay, wrapping up. Seriously. 

After about two months of intense homopathic treatments I started feeling much better. I quit feeling my heart out of rythm. I started to have LOTS more energy. I went off all my meds, which allowed me to miraculously get preggo...twice! And on January 1, 2008 I had my last migraine. God graciously healed me. I can't help, but cry when I think of it. 

I was reminded of this the other day when I got the first migraine since then. It felt so long since I'd had one and I had too quickly forgotten the pain that God healed me from. I forgot the dependance I had on him. And I was given a glimpse of what life would have been like if he had not healed me. 

He didn't have to heal me and yet in his graciousness he choose to. I'm so thankful.


rachel porter said...

i found you through the nato's blog and i'm in love with your header. your family looks so so sweet. :)

kenzie said...

I totally understand! We (as sinful human beings) are so quick to forget what the Lord has taught us and then we have to be reminded! Im going through that now with the hospital stuff we're going through with Clover, I got so comfortable being home and having a "normal" life! thankful for you my friend! xo

katygirl said...

ok not only was this just a really cool story, but you were super funny at times as well. i hope that you meant to be or else i'm rude.

life chasers said...

Isn't it sad how as time goes by we forgot those HUGE things the Lord did for us? I almost died 3 weeks after my daughter was born due to a blood clot and its so easy to take life for granted. That is so amazing that He healed you!!! Isn't He faithful?!?

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