Friday, January 28, 2011

absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Guess who comes home today?! 

We get him all weekend long...two whole days! 

oh how i've missed...

the way Elijah gets so excited when he hears the door open at the end of the day because you're home.

how you warm the bed up for me before I get in at night.

reading together.

Vanessa pushing out of my arms to get to you.

the way you kiss me in the middle of me telling you something. 

you filling my car up with gas.

eating dinner as a family.

how you help me clean the kitchen at after the kids are asleep.

watching movies together.

cuddling in bed with the kids.

the way you make me laugh when i'm stressed out.

going to bed with you, i hate sleeping alone. 

you taking care of the kids in the morning so i can do my devotions!

i love you so much and hate it when we're apart, but am incredibly thankful for how hard you work to provide for our family.

i'm counting down the hours...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Nine Months

in pictures...











We can't tell you how much we love you and the joy that fills us when we see you. We know everyday God allows you to be in our family is a gift. Dada and I love hearing you laugh and watching you discover new things. Your brother lights up when he sees you and always wants to wake you up so you can play with him. You've taught us that love is patient and sacrificial. Our prayer for you is to love the Lord with all your heart and submit your life to his word. We can't wait to see all that God has planned for you!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Time Away.

We love getting away...especially when it's to Shaver....especially when it's with our close friends...especially when there's snow...especially when Caleb's been gone and we finally get to be together as a family!

I love this man...the guys got to get away for the day and snowboard...much needed for them all.

The kids played hard in the snow...

and loved it...

and ate it.

Vanessa had lots of playmates. She laughed and laughed.

I think she is so beautiful. Just look at those blue eyes and red lips!

Love these girls.


Could they be any cuter?? (yea I know we're crazy letting V go down with Eli, but look how happy they are.)

We had a great time and wish it wasn't over....we'll do it again soon!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Yiayia's kisses

We Love Yiayia....

Friday, January 7, 2011

In Case you were Wondering....

{Random Facts}

I can't whistle. 

 I used to pray that God would give me brown hair cause my sisters told me I was left on the doorstep and I thought if I had brown hair like them it wouldn't be true.

I eat ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner.

I'm incredibly indecisive and wish I wasn't.

My Favorite Bible verse is "Be still and know I am God."

I LOVE listening to music...ALL the time. 

I dream about living overseas and running an orphanage. 

If you offered me a prestigious job that paid millions I wouldn't take it over being a stay at home wife and mom.

Green is my favorite color, with mustard yellow as a close second. 

If I could have any talent it would be that I could really sing. 

I hate sleeping in our bed when Caleb is out of town and I usually let Elijah sleep with me. 

Dinner is my least favorite meal of the day. 

I want to own a red barn.

I Love Nessa's long eye lashes.

I'm a clean freak and don't like it when people sit on the bed after I've made it. 

I love to write, but only for myself. 

Elijah and I dance around the house everyday. 

Trader Joe's is my favorite grocery store. 

I prefer pen and paper to a computer, a phone call over a text message, and a comment over no comment.

I never go out of town without at least 5 books.

I heart Disneyland like a little kid.

I'm an early to bed early to rise kind of girl. 

I married a country boy who will do anything to make me smile.

I've never had a cup of coffee.

{that's just a little bit about me in case you were wondering}

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Elijah was on the floor holding V between his legs pretending they were a train. Of course it wan't long before he wanted me to stop cooking dinner and join the fun. So, here we are on our very dirty floor, with dinner burning, but not carring at all, scooting around on our bums, pretending we're a train. 

Welcome to a glimpse of my wonderful life.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Paralyzed by Fear

I never thought of myself as a fearful person. I mean, I had fears I guess, but didn't think lots about them. But since being a wife, and even more so when I became a mom I found myself fearing more. 

Caleb would be late coming home from work and my first thought was a car accident. I pictured myself at his bedside praying he would survive and before I knew it I was fighting off tears. Ridiculous and morbid I know. 

Then I had Elijah. Wow, I can't count the number of times I've checked on him while he's sleeping to make sure he was still breathing. And if he slept longer than normal in the morning, instead of enjoying the quiet, I found myself fighting the urge to go in his room and make sure he was okay. Usually I would talk myself out of it, telling myself how crazy I, but there were other times I would allow my mind to run wild and couldn't resist checking on him.

This behavior continued when Vanessa became part of our family, but at that point had become normal to me. I shrugged this kind of worrying off, not as a sin, but as just "being a mom." I rationalized my fear, especially when it came to Nessie. I thought with all that we went through with her this is totally normal and even expected. 

The other day, I started to realize how out of control I had let my mind go. I was finding it harder and harder to control my thoughts and saw how quickly I pictured bad things happening to my family and me. I was actually driving home with the kids crying cause I had imagined losing them. 

 It hit me hard. I had allowed the sin of worry to creep it's ugly head into my life unchecked for so long it was taking over. I realized I was becoming paralyzed by fear. I've experienced loss, very close to me multiple times. So, for some it seems unimaginable, while I live knowing how very short life is and that loss comes at anytime and usually when you least expect it. 

But I woke up to the fact that living this way is not only sinful, but I also rob myself of the time God has given my with my family when I'm not living in the moment with them. 

I confessed my sin and am really working ridding this from my life. I'm completely relying on the Holy Spirit to help me control my thoughts and stop them before they even have a chance to start. 

I'm allowing peace to take the place of worry and praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm also trusting that God only gives us what we can handle and for today he's not given me the grace to walk through the trial of losing Caleb or my babies. But if he does call me to that then his grace will be there to carry me through.  

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