Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Waiting for Heaven

The Sammons Family,(Hope due Jan. 2010)
Saying good-bye at the airport.

I want to live my life continually realizing that this is not my home. I have an eternal home waiting for me and that truth should direct my every step. I have to admit sometimes I get distracted by the trivial things of this world, but God is always faithful to remind me where my real home is. This last remind I received was a hard one. Good-bye's are always hard for me, but this one was especially hard. It was much harder than I actually imagined it would be. And I'm so thankful that there are no good-bye's in Heaven!

Caleb's sisters family followed God's leading and moved half way around the world to Nakuru, Kenya. They made a three year commitment with Christian Veterinarian Mission. They will be teaching Kenyans how to better care for their animals (which is how they survive there) and will be working in an orphanage. They have two little girls 3 1/2 and almost 2 with one on the way. They're extremely special to Caleb and I and although three years isn't forever, right now it seems like it. I'm so thankful that they were willing to leave all that is familiar and safe to them and go where God calls. And I have an incredible peace that knowing that they are being faithful, but it's still hard.

I didn't think it would really be that hard. I kept telling myself that this was God's will, we should be excited for them, and three years will go by so fast. I didn't want to deal with being sad and missing them. It was just easier not to. The last week they were in the states Caleb's whole family got away to the mountains for a couple of days. We wanted one last time with them. At this point I was still feeling pretty strong. But something about getting away and seeing all that we would miss in them for the next three years really got to me. I spent time with the girls realizing how much they would change. I spent time with Bekah (Caleb's sister) and saw a great friendship that I would miss terribly. It happened in a really short time, but before I realized it I was heart-broken.

I don't want to be overly dramatic. I understand that this isn't one of life's great tragedy's, but it's not fun saying good-bye. Caleb's family is so special and have loved me like I was one of them from the start. Each member plays a vital role and they've all taught me so much. When even one is missing there is a HUGE whole, let alone five. We're blessed to have the technology to write emails, talk on skype and fly to visit them, but it's not the same as having them just a couple hours away.

When I was driving back home from our week away I was alone in my car and I started crying so hard I thought I might have to pull over. I started thinking this is why I didn't want to care. It's easier not to feel this sad. But almost as soon as I thought that I was reminded that it's so much better to have relationships that hurt when you say good-bye than ones that don't. It helps keep me focused on heaven and excited that there will be no sadness and no good-bye's. Please keep them in your prayers. This is a tough time for them as they are trying to adjust to so many new things.

1 comment:

Kirra Sue said...

Oh Jess I loved this post. What a good reminder of where our real citizenship lies. I am sorry though that you'll be away from loved ones. That is a challenge. But not one without purpose. I pray God will use this distance from your loved ones to continue focusing your eyes on heaven! And I pray He will encourage your family as they serve Him overseas.

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